Chapter One: The Adventure Begins...

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young princess named K. Jirstan. She was a girl of simple pleasures: always happy to spend her days brushing her hair, picking flowers, and kicking ass at jousting and sword play. Until...the sun rose on a dark, dark day. (Wait…does that even make sense? Never mind.) K. Jirstan was taking an innocent stroll around the harmless castle when suddenly she became distracted by the young, gorgeous, half naked stable boy named Zefron. He grinned his winning grin at her, and she winked in response. K. Jirstan is notorious for being an excellent winker. However, in that one, rare, moment of weakness, K. Jirstan’s world suddenly went black.


When she came to, she found herself cold, alone, and disoriented…but never afraid. She seemed to be held captive in a giant cave, though she herself was in a cage, so further exploration was not an option. Just as the thought ‘who has done this to me?’ crossed her mind, she began to hear footsteps approach. Adrenaline surged though her as the steps became louder…louder…louder. Tension built. Step…step…step… Just as the suspense began to get a bit boring, her captor emerged into the light. K. Jirstan immediately knew she had been mistaken. Her kidnapper was no “who.” He was a “what.” For standing before her, in all his terror and might, was Him. Lord Fuzzy. The giant panda.


“Muah ha ha ha! Now I’ve got you right where I want you!” he laughed his evil laugh evilly.


“You are powerless against me!” K. Jirstan exclaimed. “I am not afraid!”


“Bitch, please.” Lord Fuzzy chuckled. “For it is I—I!—who caused the mysterious disappearance of your sister, Mlake Bargaret. They mystery is over! I kidnapped her, then drowned her in a giant vat of Frosty!”


“You fiend!” she cried.


“You have no idea. It wasn’t even chocolate!” he laughed.


“I hate you and everything you stand for, giant panda,” she glared.

...to be continued...